A Foot Film Retrospective: The ‘Mad Max’ Trilogy and Why It Matters For the Global Supply Chain
Noted communications guru Gary Sparrowstein thrusts a critical eye to a storied yet moribund film franchise and asks: what was Max so Mad about anyhow?
[Editor’s note: The following is a submission by Garry Sparrowstein. His views, while somewhat in line with those of the Food Under Foot editorial board, may shock your conscience to its core. But his plumage is simply breathtaking.]
The other day I was thinking about the proper naval and aerial battle maneuvers and techniques our great nation should take to invade Australia.
But, hangabout, I thought—what about Mel Gibson? He did those “Mad Max” films.
Give me back my son.
I put some toothpicks in my eyes, had the wife chain me to a radiator and streamed all three in a row.
[Author’s note: Of course there are two other films in the franchise, but we're here to talk about the three with Mel.]
Here’s what I learned.
First, sandwiches are not named that because they have sand in them. You can have a “sand”wich if you want, let your freak flag fly, man. But it’s well known that Lord Salami, once a mainstay of 17th century-England’s landed gentry, coined the phrase whilst in the throes of a lackluster three-way.
Second, Mel is a man you want on your side when shit hits the fan. Unless you’re a law enforcement professional just days from retirement.
From what I can ascertain from the threadbare exposition offered up in “Mad Mel” and its sturdy sequels, society has broken down and the near future looks like a Saturday night at your local Denny’s.
This is to say, chaos. Everyone is dining, dashing and doing donuts in the parking lot, but, like, metaphorically. For reasons unknown, Tina Tuner is in “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome,” the third and final installment of the series. We’re thankful nonetheless.
The first movie is about Mel hunting down a band of sexy road pirates that one might call a “gang.” I appreciated their camaraderie, especially the bread baking montage. But here at the Foot we do take issue with the sadism and general tomfoolery that these guys were into (terrible crimes). Freedom.
The first film is great and def has some dudes getting run over by big trucks and some other depictions of violence I’ve been conditioned to need in order to enjoy a movie. I’m an American male and my testicles are very impressive and don’t look different than the average man’s at all.
We’re moving along to number two, “Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior.” As promised, there are lots of roads in this one and also more sand.
Max’s wife doesn’t return in the second movie, much to everyone’s chagrin. We’re left to assume she’s dead. But what do women want?
As “The Road Warrior” got rolling, my wife told me she’s been sleeping with my smokeshow attorney Mikey Dionysus for a good many years. That would explain why none of my kids look anything like me.
Sorry I got distracted again. LOL.
“Road Warrior” is the best of the three movies, bar none. Period. Full stop. In addition, bar some.
This chapter calls to mind an episode of the Sideshow Bob vehicle “Frasier,” in which Marty gets a license plate for his RV that says “RDWRER” and his sons (both idiots) don’t know what it’s supposed to say. Marty must explain it to them. (RIP John Mahoney. Hope you’re resting easy, big dog. There’s always a Marty Party raging in the heavens.)
Seriously, give me back my son. Please I miss him so much.
“Road Warrior” is dope, though. No bullshit. Chases ensure, people die, action is HAD. The testosterone pulsing through my veins really liked this movie cause I’m a MAN and my wife JUST LEFT ME.
Still chained to the radiator, no less. Sure, it’s not like I’m stuck dropping a deux into booby trapped crapper. But oy vey what a pickle.
Speaking of babes: Tina Turner. One of the greatest singers our world has ever known. Turner plays the top baddie in the third film, “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.”
More like “Beyond Mediocre.” Tina, I love ya—always have.
All things being equal, this movie has a weird premise. There’s a bunch of goddamn children in it who join up with Mel. They flee from Turner together. At some point the tots tell him that the “Lethal Weapon” franchise is superior to “Mad Max.” He beats half of them to death. It’s followed with a snide sax riff.
I should also note that the titular character’s full name is Max Rockatansky.
Anyway Foot fans, I gotta motor—I had a single matchbook delivered to my apartment and they’re ringing that bell. That said, that’s why the “Mad Max” movies disrupted the global supply chain and caused the recent spike in inflation.
I also enjoyed “Bird on a Wire.” But now’s not the time to dip my beak into that one.
Garry Sparrowstein is a New York City-based communications person of some repute. His views are often considered highly controversial.